What Should I Comment on within a Document?
Helpful, in-document comments set Kibin editors apart from the competition and further our mission to help writers grow. Plus, if you’ve ever had a paper edited, you know it’s actually pretty fun to read an editor’s comments (both positive and critical).
So what can/should you comment on? Your top priority is addressing the writer’s specific concerns while paying attention to the Final Cut/Clarity/Stylistic distinction, which means your commentary will vary from document to document. Here are some common scenarios and comment examples you can use as inspiration:
1. Recurring problems. Any issue that keeps cropping up is worth noting. For example, if you notice endless comma splices, run-on sentences, or multiple sentence fragments, leave a comment!**
You tend to leave a lot of comma splices. I've fixed these for you throughout this paper, but you might want to work on this in your future writing. Here's a great resource to help: http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm
**Commenting does not excuse you from fixing repeated errors; your responsibility as an editor is to fix any errors you find.
2. Significant/complex edits. When you make significant edits that go beyond small grammar and phrasing fixes, you might want to leave a comment to explain why you made such a big change.
I know I made a lot of changes to this section, but I think you'll agree that reorganizing your sentences improves the flow, and deleting this last sentence fixes the problem of redundancy in this paragraph.
3. Clarity and logic issues. If you can’t fully grasp what an author is trying to say, their reader likely can’t either. It’s a good idea to let the author know when their prose is confusing or ask clarifying questions when the writing is vague or unclear.
As your reader, I’m unsure of what you’re trying to convey here. Perhaps you mean X instead? If so, try to clarify that for your audience.
This idea doesn’t make sense within the context of your argument because XYZ. I wonder if you could find a different source that better supports your claim?
4. Link to outside resources. If you think the user would benefit from outside resources (an article from the Kibin blog or information about APA citations, for example), definitely feel free to leave a link and explain why you think it could help their writing.
I noticed that most of your journal references are missing the italic formatting required by APA7. This resource shows exactly how to format these entries in the future: https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/references/examples/journal-article-references#1
Your thesis statement is off to a good start but could be improved by XXXX. Here's a great resource to help you with that: https://www.kibin.com/essay-writing-blog/thesis-statement-examples/
5. Factual changes and missing citations. If the user has spelled a proper noun incorrectly or made a factual error that you have corrected, leave a comment and a link to your source. It’s also a good idea to point out uncited factual information when necessary (e.g., student work, academic articles, etc.).
I've corrected the spelling of this city throughout your document. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho_Chi_Minh_City
You’ve said “research shows” that X is better than Y, but you need to show/cite the research to be credible to the reader.
6. Word choice changes. If you change a word for a better or more accurate option, it's not a bad idea to include a comment explaining your reasoning, especially for ESL writers.
Word choice: I think you mean 'adverse' here (unfavourable, harmful), not 'averse' (strongly disliking; opposed).
Really catchy intro here! It definitely makes me want to read more. Nice job.
This sentence is excellent because it really drives your point home for the reader.